


Everything Isn't Black or White

by DebsterClintashaLove



Category: Dexter (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Time, Kissing, Making Out, One True Pairing, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 03:16:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DebsterClintashaLove/pseuds/DebsterClintashaLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It doesn't matter what I do, or what I choose, I'm what's wrong.." - Debra Morgan</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything Isn't Black or White

**Author's Note:**

I heard a loud knocking on the door of the shitty motel I was currently in. I only knew of one person it would be. I opened the door, and to no surprise, found a much too familiar face in front of me. A face I didn't want to see.   
"What the fuck do you want?"   
"Deb, we need to talk." Dexter pled out to me, and I ignored him by shutting the door in his face. He pushed against it, to where I couldn't completely shut it and barged right in.   
"Jesus, didn't you get the message, fucker? I didn't want you to come in!"  
"Deb, I don't care what you want right now, because what you want is going to kill you!" he yelled seriously. He didn't want to play games tonight. It's not like I did.   
"And you give a fuck why? You know, I'm in this because of you!" I yelled at him. I saw his face, ridden with guilt, thinking back to the horrible night.   
"That doesn't mean I want you to hurt yourself like this! You don't have to punish yourself! I'm sorry I got you into-"   
"Don't make that face and say 'I'm sorry' to me! You always say that, but you never fucking change it!"  
"I know you didn't mean what you said, earlier."   
"What? That I hate you? That I shot the wrong person in that trailer?" He stared in approval, upset. "I did. I did mean it. I shot the wrong person."  
"You should've shot m-"   
"See, Dex. That's just not it. I did shoot the wrong person, I really did. I fucking screwed up like always." I said glumly, as I walked over to the side table, twirling Andrew's gun with my finger, staring down at it. I knew it was time. Time for all of this to end. "All my damn life, I thought there was choice A or choice B, and that's what it came down to with you and Laguerta." I said as I looked back up at him, picking up the gun. I walked over, standing face to face with him, space between us, the gun loosely at my side. "But no. There wasn't just A or B. Right or wrong. True or false. Black or white. Heaven or hell. No, no, no. There wasn't just you and Laguerta in that trailer.. There was someone else there.."   
"Deb.." he said softly. I slowly lifted the gun up, finger on the trigger, ready to pull at any moment.   
"Someone else who shouldn't be here. Laguerta didn't deserve it..." I whispered continuing to lift the gun.   
"Deb, stop."   
"You deserve it, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill someone I'm in love with. It's like you and that bitch, Hannah. You knew she did wrong, but couldn't kill her, even when I asked.."  
"Deb, please just stop." he said softly, taking steps closer.   
"So, if you won't listen to me, why should I listen to you..but if I can't kill you, then who's the other person lift to kill in that trailer?" I continued to raise the gun, holding it to my temple, shaking, my finger to pull any moment. This moment of truth.   
"Deb, fucking put it down now." Dexter pled, near tears.   
"Dex. It's me. I should've shot myself in that trailer." I said lastly, cocking the gun.  
"Deb, no!" Dexter lunged at me, and then the sound of a click, but I couldn't see white. I continued to pull, but nothing came out.   
"It's fucking empty. Empty. Dammit!" I sobbed out, dropping the gun and breaking down into tears on my knees. Dexter dropped down next to me, pulling me into his arms. I buried my face into his chest, crying into his shirt. "Oh fucking god!" Dexter just held me there, desperate to make everything better, but he knew there was not a damn thing in hell he'd be able to do. I was broken, couldn't be fixed. Never would be fixed. He stroked my back, pulling me closer as I cried out harder. He caressed my face in his hands lightly, wiping tears from my eyes. I pressed my lips to his, forcefully, grabbing a handful of his hair. He kissed me back, opening his mouth under mine. I pushed my tongue into his mouth, against his, craving every inch of him to be on me. I wrapped my other arm around his waist, clutching myself to him even tighter. He caressed my cheek, still in his hand, keeping a hand on my hip, stroking my side with his thumb. It doesn't matter what we do, what we choose, we're what's wrong, and we're broken. There's nothing we can do about it. The choices we make, the people we hurt, the people we love, it all makes sense now. Two broken people looking for a purpose, a reason to live. I had none, until him. That's how it would always be, but when you put two broken pieces together, they fit perfectly. Is that what we were? Just two pieces that needed putting together?   
"I love you, Deb. I'm sorry for what I did." he said against my lips.  
"I love you." I replied in between the hungry kisses. "I'm sorry for what I didn't do" I saw the upset in his eyes, as he pressed his lips back on mine, pushing me down to the floor, showing how sorry he was. We'd always be a fucked up family, so why not start with this. Why hide how we feel to please the world. To the world, we're children, cousins, friends, lovers, and now, killers. Maybe the gun wasn't loaded for a reason. Maybe I found out for a reason. Maybe I shot the wrong person for a reason. Maybe I fell in love with him for a reason. I just don't know what reason yet....maybe it was this. 

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are love!


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